Chesty The Bulldog Charged With Sexual Harassment After Humping Numerous Legs

by CharlieMike

MARINE BARRACKS WASHINGTON, D.C. — Cpl. Chesty XIV, also known as Chesty The Bulldog, has been removed from his primary duties as the official Marine Corps mascot following multiple charges of sexual misconduct, sources confirmed today.

There were several cases involving accusations of leg humping, unsolicited face licking, and one claim of lewd sexting.

“I always suspected Chesty was letting his fame go to his head,” said Pfc. David Trimbull, a member of the Marine Corps Silent Drill Platoon. “We all heard rumors, but the command made it perfectly clear they wanted us to keep quiet.”

In 2016, a story emerged about Chesty when a server witnessed him cornering two Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders at the USO Gala in Washington, D.C.

“I was in absolute shock, just like them,” said the witness, whose name is withheld out of fear of reprisal. “I couldn’t move I was so scared, and when it was all over, all I could do was comfort them and offer some clean napkins.”

The two cheerleaders never pressed charges and refused to comment on the incident.

Stories involving sexual harassment and abuse aren’t new to the Marines. Earlier this year, the Corps was rocked by a scandal involving a Facebook group known as “Marines United” where more than 30,000 active and former Marines shared nude photos of former partners without their consent.

During the initial investigation into the infamous social media group, authorities discovered images of a female chihuahua and French bulldog, but didn’t see any connection. In light of recent events, however, law enforcement is now looking into whether or not Chesty may have been involved.